Just write a post for recording my depression...

2021/03/13

This is the first time I am recording my anxiety and depression.
Give a brief statement about my situation:
I just quit my job and staying with my parents.
I am waiting for Autumn fall to come back to campus.
I am writing a paper for my previous mentor for publishing.
I am trying to update my blogs every day.
I am learning python and kivy every day.
I also plan to learn some statistics and bioinformatics.
I still didn’t finish my reading task.
I want to do some biochemistry knowledge review.
I also want to learn more complicated vocabulary and native idioms.
I also want to play switch games.

I worry that I can’t pass the driver’s license check the day after postnatal.
I am worried about I can’t get the visa two months from now.
I am worried that I can’t pass my classes one year from now.
I am worried about I can’t graduate from campus three years from now.

And also, I am pushing my progress very slow, as slow as a snail.
That’s why I am falling into deep anxiety and depression.

It has given me so much pressure and worried about so many things.
Also, I have no peers around, no much of face to face communication. Though, I have lots of friends living in the same city as me. But I don’t want to call them, bather them.
And I also lack exercise… coffee addiction, low appetite, small eater, sedentary life-style, trouble with fall into sleep, can’t get up earlier.

All those things make me feel like I am a loser.

I think I need a plan to tightly stick with it.
I also need to set times to take a break since I never know how to stop once I start typing.

I’ll start with going to sleep and waking up on time first.
Let me just do it.